Hi. So the last few months of my life have been largely anything but smooth. I have been dealing with mental exhaustion from working 7 days a week with rarely a break (not smart I know), aggravation from my serving job, frustration at not being able to find a career, fear from needing to find a new place to live (and not finding one), and to top it off stress with everything else. Now most of all that is winding down and I am doing much better, but I had an experience this past Sunday that made me realise I was still holding on to the emotions. A group of kids at work said a prayer for me.
Now it has been a while now since last I went to a church (not for lack of wanting mind you). While I do pray, I still have this belief that I have to do everything on my own. That I am alone in my struggle despite all the support I have, including my boyfriend. I rarely ask for help (a weakness I need to work on) and so I struggle alone. That is why this prayer from these kids meant so much to me. It was unexpected, and I almost said no.
So on Sunday, a group of young adults/teenagers came into work. There was 10 of them and at the beginning I wasn’t overly thrilled. Church people aren’t necessarily the greatest of tippers (not that many people are at that place). Still I treated them like I would anyone else and I chatted about their church and made some religious comments. They were really nice. When their food finally got to them, they told me they were about to pray for their food and asked me if there was anything I wanted them to pray for me about. My initial gut reaction was to say no, but I paused a second and then told them yes.
Right after saying yes, I felt the emotions come one and I began to cry. I told them my struggles with my job, finding a career, and finding a place to live. I was open and honest with them. Then I sat down with them as they prayed. Something that totally impressed me was how they prayed for Jeffry as well.
I was quite emotional for a while after the prayer, but I did feel a semblance of peacefulness afterward. The anger I’d been feeling all weekend I didn’t want to focus on and the stress seemed trivial. It was really nice. With everything I’ve been going through this last weekend, this was a moment of beauty I desperately needed. Who would have thought it would be a group of young people simply asking me if I needed anything prayed about.
In the spirit of that, I have been putting myself out there to ensure that those prayers do not go to waste. Gave out a handful of resumes today and yesterday so fingers crossed that one of them turns in to something. I am also trying to remember that I am not alone and that I don’t have to do everything by myself. Jeffry keeps telling me to have faith and that we are in this together. It’s just a challenge for me believe I don’t have to do things alone. When life has given you so little to believe in and have hope in, you forget that there is so much beauty to see and experience.
I will definitely keep you all updated as things take shape. We might have a place to live already, which is a big relief. And who knows, I may have a new job soon. Well I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day. I pray that you remember that there will always be someone out there in need of your prayers and individual support. Much love 🙂