Chapter 14: My Current State of Uncertainty

Chapter 14 buy modafinil in bangalore Chapter 14. Chapter 14. Kinda have to say it twice to let reality sink in. I have closed yet another chapter of life and am now embarking on a new life journey, i.e. chapter 14. I’ve been thinking about this now for the past couple of weeks and to be honest, I’m a bit concerned.

So what is so significant about this new chapter of life? If I were to describe it in a word, it would be: uncertainty. That’s right. Uncertainty. I have no idea what is going to happen. Now that might sound obvious, but this time I have no real inkling of what I should even do. Not. A. Clue.

So my uncertainty spans from many contributors, but one in particular: my degree is now over. Yep, most of my uncertainty definitely spawns from that one tiny fact. During uni, you feel confident that your degree will result in that desired result of an occupation. But once it’s finished, you slowly come to the realisation that the road afterward isn’t going to be as smooth as you thought. And thus comes the uncertainty. I’m not sure when I’ll find a job, if I’ll find a job in journalism, how long I’ll be in Utah (where I really don’t want to be), if I’ll be relocating abroad or in the States, and the list goes on and on.

Originally, I had it in my mind that I would complete my studies and be able to find a job that would keep me in the UK. But as the year progressed, I began to unwillingly come to the realisation that my desire was not necessarily going to materialise. Not because I didn’t want it or that I wasn’t qualified, but because the UK government would rather not give people who want to legally be in the country ways to stay there. That meant that I was going to have to return to the USA in the hopes that somewhere in this I could find a job.

And so, at this very minute, I am sitting on a bed in a room at my parents house in southern Utah. Obviously isn’t where I planned on being, but life tends to have other plans. When we are busy making plans for our future, life is sneaking behind our backs and sabotaging those said plans. Ok, not really, but sometimes it really does feel like that. I mean, how can I feel so at home in London and yet know that there really isn’t any way (at least right now) for me to get a job there? *sigh*. 

Well there really isn’t any point in complaining I guess. The most proactive method is to do everything I can to remove my uncertainty. For the minute that just means getting life to some state of normality. Get back to some schedule where I’m not just sitting here on the bed surfing the internet. Gotta be proactive. Hence why I am finally writing this. So slowly and surely, I am getting a rhythm going where I am accomplishing things. I apply for 2-3 jobs a day and am getting things done on all the small, trivial things I want to get done i.e. watch Naruto Shippuden, read, get through video games, write blogs, work on my book, blast through a crossword book, and get back into some form of diet and fitness regime. Oh and I just applied for a position at Barnes and Noble. Only part-time, but as long as there is some form of income, I shall not complain. 

So, while my future is filled with uncertainty, it doesn’t mean that I can’t still create something out of it. It just means I have to be a bit more creative 😉

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